Recently I was seeking the face of God to find out how I could enhance the quality of my marriage, and the Lord led me to the book of Proverbs. As I began to read chapter 5, I started to see the value of some of the checks and balances that I had put in place in my marriage. Furthermore, I began to see the importance of investing in my wingman. For more understanding about the “wingman, please read article on wingman”. A few verses caught my attention in chapter five and as I meditated on those verses, I got a revelation on how to not only enhance the quality of my marriage, but more importantly I began to see the importance of consistency, and the value of celebrating that which the Lord had blessed me with. (KJV)Proverbs 5:15 – Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. In the (Amplified) is says -Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well. In my search for interpretation, I wanted to know what the definition of a cistern was, and so I checked the definition and t a “cistern” is a reservoir, tank, or container for storing or holding water or other liquid. This means that if this cistern is not replenished with fresh waters, it could run dry or become empty. This scripture transformed my mind and gave me a different perspective on intimacy with my wife. I began to see why it was important for her to be constantly replenished after she has given me fresh water from her cistern. A lot of us men drink out of our cisterns but forget to replenish it with fresh waters, so we can drink again when we become thirsty. Some others are not satisfied with the freshness of the waters that they drink, so I guess the questions is how often are you replenishing your cistern with fresh water, remember that whatever you put in is what you will get out, if you are not satisfied with the output, invest more in the input. Your cistern was designed to satisfy you, but your satisfaction is completely dependent on how much you are willing to invest in the cistern. If you look a little further in that chapter 5 in verses 18-19 (18Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.) The amplified version says (18Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive] –let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love.) I understand that life can happen and we can be overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a man (the priest, the protector and the provider for your home), but never forget that the cistern is one solid, consistent, and dependable source of replenishment. And as long as you are investing in your cistern, you will be satisfied, because it was designed to satisfy you. So how do I invest in, or replenish my cistern? I am glad you asked that question. There several ways to ensure that your cistern is constantly filled with fresh water, there are several ways to make sure that you are not the only one enjoying intimacy. The complete satisfaction of intimacy should be enjoyed by the both of you; therefore there is need for dialogue before during and after intimacy. You have to communicate with your wife to find out which she prefers. Sometimes we men have to let go of our egos in other to effectively meet the needs of our wives and in return be satisfied. You have to understand that most women are emotional beings and most men are physical beings and there is need to connect with her emotions as well as her physicality. Below are some tips that can help with this process: Talk with her about her needs, both physical and emotional – Don’t assume that you know, because as she grows and matures, so also her physical needs and emotional needs change. Schedule time with her and her alone – Put this on a calendar and do it until it becomes natural, it could be as simple as taking a walk together and talking once or twice a week, and make sure nothing interrupts that schedule. Find out what she is passionate about – when a woman begins to operate in her area of passion, she begins to glow and the favor on her life is released. Allow her some personal time – As often as you can, allow her to have some personal time to herself; a time when she can get away either for a day or a weekend, where she can be without you or the kids if you have any. The key thing is that she is away alone. Do something just for her – This is very important because it often reveals a side of her that you might have never seen. It could be as easy as going window shopping with her while she tries on some dresses for you, or taking up her daily house chores for a few days, or help out with a specific chore daily. These are some things that you can do. Every woman is different; you will have to find out what is unique to your wife and then apply the same principles. Remember it is our responsibility to make sure that our cisterns is filled with fresh water. I pray that you will find the grace, boldness and the strength to follow through and make the woman that the Lord has blessed you with, ALL THAT SHE HAS BEEN CALLED TO BE.